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Ek teacher ne class ke students ko english ke 3 word likh ke laneko kaha. Toh ek student apne ghar jaake mummy se poochta hai ke mujhe english ke 3 words bolo. Toh mummy use bolti hai Shutup! Thode der ke baad uski mummy use manane aati hai aur bolti hai “I am sorry.” Kuch der ke baad uske papa ka phone aata hai toh uske papa uski mummy se bolte hai, “Chalo aaj hotel mein khana khate hai.” Toh uski mummy bolti hai, “Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge”. Yeh sare word “Shutup, Sorry aur Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge” woh apne note book mein likh leta hai. Doosre din uski teacher usse english ke 3 words poochti hai toh woh bolta hai Shutup! Uski teacher usko dat ti hai toh woh bolta hai “Sorry” phir bolti hai chalo principal ke paas chaltehain toh woh bolta hai “Aaj nahi darling kal jaayenge -submited by T.T ”
Patni: Aapko mujhme sabse jayada acha kya lagta hai meri sundarta ya meri akalmandi? Banta: mujhe to tumhari ye majak karne ki aadat hi sabse achi aur pyari lagti hai

Santa: Yaar mene ek chij notice kihai Banta: kya? Santa: mene hamesha note kiya hai ki jab railway fatak band hota hai to train jarur aati hai.
Santa shayari karte hue: insurance wale bhi kya gajab dhate hain…. Insurance agent: kya? Santa: insurance wale bhi kya gajab dhate hain logo ki biwiyo ke pas ghanto baith kar unke patike marne ke fayde samjhate hain. `

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic kebahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai:Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

Santa applied for the position of Mechanical Engineer. In interview: Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr….. Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated… Drank poison said, “ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!”

Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!

Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao. Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai?

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: George Washington’s skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Washington’s skeleton when he was a child.

Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai? Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladkija rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call. Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, ye Ayodhya kaise chala gaya?

Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide lagadu? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto Banta asks: Why r u removing a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’

Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye? Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahito tumhare liye.

How to kill a boy, GIVE HIM A MOBILE FULL OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS MOBILE NO. And "use no network coverage area me band kar do.....:-) How to kill girl'.. Give her everything she wants,... Nice dress, jweleries, glasses etc. And "use ek room me band kardo jaha par mirror hi na ho.....